Lifestyle

How to Identify the Top 25 People In Your Immediate Circle and Why This Matters

Published

3 years ago

February 15, 2023

In the digital age, making friends is easier than it has ever been with social media allowing for instant and ongoing connections with a virtually limitless number of people. On Facebook alone, today’s average user has more than 300 friends.

As with most things, however, quantity does not necessarily translate to quality.

“How many friends should you have?” asks Mark Lacek, author of the book “So, Who’s In Your Circle?” and creator of the My-Circle app. “It is something you need to consider if you want to build bonds with your friends that are stronger than ever and walk through this crazy and exciting life together. The digital age calls us to be a mile wide and an inch deep when it comes to friendships. But focus matters.”

Mark’s philosophy regarding friendship is that loyal friends are the only kinds of friends you want in your life. He also knows that having and enjoying loyal friendships takes some work. His book provides a roadmap for whittling down the ever-growing “friends list” we have built on social media to create a more manageable and satisfying personal social network.

“My goal in authoring my book is to help people intentionally, efficiently, and effectively determine how many of their friends can reasonably fit into their lives,” Mark says. “Our lives are so busy that it is a challenge to make time for friendships. We need a strategy for optimizing our time with friends and building deeper relationships with the ones who matter most.”

Optimizing your circle of friends

When it comes to friendships, many people have an inner circle. These are your “besties.” They are typically the two to five people who you cannot imagine doing life without.

Your inner circle is important, but it should not represent the totality of your friendships. Right outside of that inner circle should be a group of great friends who have won your trust, loyalty, and respect. Mark calls these people “My 25” and recommends an intentional approach to identifying who they are.

“If you are blessed with a broad array of friends, you know that they are true gold in life,” Mark says. “But we are not good at, nor have we typically given much thought to, organizing our friends. What can we do that will allow us to optimize our friendships over the course of our lives?”

Mark offers the following steps in his book for identifying those who would rank as our top 25 friends:

For those who work outside the home, begin by thinking about relationships with those whom you see most often. Close friends often are found in this group. However, spending a lot of time with someone does not automatically make them a close friend. You might log a lot of hours with a coworker during the day but never connect with that person outside of work. Those types of relationships probably would not qualify as one of your top 25 friendships.
Think of the friends you turn to when you have a problem and need help or advice. These are probably the people that you feel you can count on. You trust what they have to say and you respect them.
Think of the people who feel close to you even though they are far away geographically. If you have maintained a friendship with someone who lives several states away, that is a good indicator that they are a close friend.
Look at the lists of calls and texts on your phone or direct messages in your social media accounts. They provide a great gauge of the people who matter in our lives. That is not to say that your closest friends are those with whom you communicate most often; however, if you rarely place a call or send a text to someone, they probably will not rank among your top 25 friends.

Being intentional about friendships

The digital age has made it easier to have an abundance of friends, though it still hasn’t helped when it comes to authenticity in relationships. To find true happiness in our friendships, it is critical that we identify who our true friends are and focus our time and energy on them.

“There are so many studies that prove the value of having friends,” says Mark. “It isn’t only that they’re good for your health, which they are, and enrich your life, which they do, but also that they help you to become your best self and the person you were meant to be.”

Lifestyle

The Message Women Need Today: Cathi Carrier’s Mission to Bring Back Self-Worth

Published

6 hours ago

March 27, 2026

Michelle Langton

Many women spend years quietly stepping out of the frame, avoiding cameras, hiding behind filters, or brushing off compliments because they no longer recognize the person staring back at them. It is not vanity that drives those moments; it’s a deeper feeling of slipping away from yourself. That emotional weight is something Cathi Carrier has witnessed for more than three decades, and it’s what shaped the mission behind Purely Bella.

Cathi didn’t build her career in a boardroom. She built it in a treatment room, one client at a time, listening to stories that rarely make it into conversations about skincare. Women would sit down and immediately apologize for their appearance, convinced they were “too late” to take care of themselves. What she saw instead were women who had given so much to others that they had forgotten how to give to themselves.

Her understanding didn’t come from textbooks. It began when she was a teenager struggling with acne that felt bigger than a skin issue; it affected her confidence, her social life, and even the way she carried herself. That experience gave her empathy long before she had professional expertise. She knew what it meant to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, and she never forgot it.

In her treatment room, skincare became something deeper than cleansing and moisturizers. It became a place where women were welcomed without judgment, where they could talk openly, exhale, and feel seen. Over the years, she learned that skin reflects far more than age or stress. It reflects how much space a woman has allowed herself to take up in her own life.

Stories like Sara’s stayed with her. Sara, a retired schoolteacher, walked in with her shoulders rounded and her spirit dulled. She apologized repeatedly for her skin, barely making eye contact. Carrier designed a simple treatment plan, but the real change came from the conversations, the consistency, and the small moments where Sara started to reconnect with herself. Months later, Sara hugged her and said she finally felt like herself again. That transformation, skin healing paired with emotional renewal, is what convinced Carrier that skincare can be a form of healing when done with intention.

Still, she reached a limit. Her treatment room could only help one woman at a time. The desire to create a greater impact pushed her to start Purely Bella, a brand built to carry her philosophy beyond the walls of her spa. The transition wasn’t glamorous. She had to learn manufacturing, sourcing, regulations, and everything in between. But she stayed focused on real women and real results, clean formulations that worked, without the fear-based marketing the industry often leans on.

Purely Bella’s mission is rooted in a simple promise: you don’t need to turn back time to feel beautiful. You need to move forward with confidence and grace, knowing your best self is not behind you. Cathi believes this deeply. She speaks often about how a morning skincare routine is not just about products, it’s a daily choice to care for yourself, a reminder that you matter.

Her mission is also a response to the pressures women absorb from the world around them. Society is quick to tell women their value fades with every birthday. Cathi rejects that entirely. She wants daughters to grow up watching their mothers feel proud in photos, not hide from them. She wants women to recognize that aging is not the enemy; the real enemy is the culture that tells them to shrink as they grow older.

In a crowded beauty landscape, Cathi Carrier is not asking women to chase perfection. She is inviting them to remember who they are, and to step back into the frame with confidence.