Lifestyle
How to Identify the Top 25 People In Your Immediate Circle and Why This Matters

In the digital age, making friends is easier than it has ever been with social media allowing for instant and ongoing connections with a virtually limitless number of people. On Facebook alone, today’s average user has more than 300 friends.
As with most things, however, quantity does not necessarily translate to quality.
“How many friends should you have?” asks Mark Lacek, author of the book “So, Who’s In Your Circle?” and creator of the My-Circle app. “It is something you need to consider if you want to build bonds with your friends that are stronger than ever and walk through this crazy and exciting life together. The digital age calls us to be a mile wide and an inch deep when it comes to friendships. But focus matters.”
Mark’s philosophy regarding friendship is that loyal friends are the only kinds of friends you want in your life. He also knows that having and enjoying loyal friendships takes some work. His book provides a roadmap for whittling down the ever-growing “friends list” we have built on social media to create a more manageable and satisfying personal social network.
“My goal in authoring my book is to help people intentionally, efficiently, and effectively determine how many of their friends can reasonably fit into their lives,” Mark says. “Our lives are so busy that it is a challenge to make time for friendships. We need a strategy for optimizing our time with friends and building deeper relationships with the ones who matter most.”
Optimizing your circle of friends
When it comes to friendships, many people have an inner circle. These are your “besties.” They are typically the two to five people who you cannot imagine doing life without.
Your inner circle is important, but it should not represent the totality of your friendships. Right outside of that inner circle should be a group of great friends who have won your trust, loyalty, and respect. Mark calls these people “My 25” and recommends an intentional approach to identifying who they are.
“If you are blessed with a broad array of friends, you know that they are true gold in life,” Mark says. “But we are not good at, nor have we typically given much thought to, organizing our friends. What can we do that will allow us to optimize our friendships over the course of our lives?”
Mark offers the following steps in his book for identifying those who would rank as our top 25 friends:
- For those who work outside the home, begin by thinking about relationships with those whom you see most often. Close friends often are found in this group. However, spending a lot of time with someone does not automatically make them a close friend. You might log a lot of hours with a coworker during the day but never connect with that person outside of work. Those types of relationships probably would not qualify as one of your top 25 friendships.
- Think of the friends you turn to when you have a problem and need help or advice. These are probably the people that you feel you can count on. You trust what they have to say and you respect them.
- Think of the people who feel close to you even though they are far away geographically. If you have maintained a friendship with someone who lives several states away, that is a good indicator that they are a close friend.
- Look at the lists of calls and texts on your phone or direct messages in your social media accounts. They provide a great gauge of the people who matter in our lives. That is not to say that your closest friends are those with whom you communicate most often; however, if you rarely place a call or send a text to someone, they probably will not rank among your top 25 friends.
Being intentional about friendships
The digital age has made it easier to have an abundance of friends, though it still hasn’t helped when it comes to authenticity in relationships. To find true happiness in our friendships, it is critical that we identify who our true friends are and focus our time and energy on them.
“There are so many studies that prove the value of having friends,” says Mark. “It isn’t only that they’re good for your health, which they are, and enrich your life, which they do, but also that they help you to become your best self and the person you were meant to be.”
Lifestyle
The Missing Piece in Self-Help? Why This Book is Changing the Wellness Game

Self-help shelves are full of advice — some of it helpful, some of it recycled, and most of it focused on “mindset.” But Rebecca Kase, LCSW and founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, is offering something different: a science-backed, body-first approach that explains why so many people feel struck, overwhelmed, or burned out — and what they can actually do about it.
A seasoned therapist and business leader, Kase has spent nearly two decades teaching others how to navigate life through the lens of the nervous system. Her newest book, “The Polyvagal Solution,” set to release in May 2025, aims to shake up the wellness space by shifting the focus away from willpower and onto biology. If success has felt out of reach — or if healing has always seemed like a vague concept — this book may be the missing link.
A new way to understand stress and healing
At the heart of Kase’s approach is polyvagal theory, a neuroscience-based framework that helps explain how our bodies respond to safety and threat. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, polyvagal theory has transformed the way many therapists understand trauma, but Kase is bringing this knowledge to a much wider audience.
“The body always tells the truth,” Kase says. “If you’re anxious, exhausted, or always in overdrive, your nervous system is asking for support, not more discipline.”
“The Polyvagal Solution” makes this complex theory digestible and actionable. Instead of promising quick fixes, Kase offers strategies for regulating the nervous system over time, including breathwork, movement, boundaries, and daily practices that better align with how the human body functions. It’s less about pushing through discomfort and more about learning to tune in to what the body needs.
From clinical expertise to business insight
What sets Kase apart isn’t just her deep understanding of trauma but how she blends that knowledge with real-world experience as a business owner and leader. As the founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, she scaled her work into a thriving company, all while staying rooted in the values she teaches.
Kase has coached therapists, executives, and entrepreneurs who struggle with burnout, anxiety, or feeling disconnected from their work. Regardless of who she works with, though, her message remains consistent: the problem isn’t always mindset — it’s often regulation.
“Success that drains you isn’t success. It’s survival mode in disguise,” Kase explains. Her coaching programs go beyond traditional leadership training by teaching high achievers how to calm their nervous systems, enabling them to lead from a grounded place, not just grit.
Making the science personal
For all her clinical knowledge, Kase keeps things human. Her work doesn’t sound like a lecture but rather like a conversation with someone who gets it. That’s because she’s been through it herself: the long hours as a therapist, the emotional toll of supporting others, the realities of building a business while managing her own well-being.
That lived experience informs everything she does. Whether she’s speaking on stage, running a retreat, or sharing an anecdote on her podcast, Kase has a way of weaving humor and honesty into even the heaviest topics. Her ability to balance evidence-based practice with practical advice is part of what makes her voice so compelling.
Kase’s previous book, “Polyvagal-Informed EMDR,” earned respect from clinicians across the country. But “The Polyvagal Solution” reaches beyond the therapy community to anyone ready to understand how their body is shaping their behavior and how to create real, sustainable change.
Why this message matters
We’re in a moment where burnout is common and overwhelm feels normal. People are looking for answers, but many of the tools out there don’t address the deeper cause of those feelings.
That’s where Kase’s work lands differently. Instead of telling people to “think positive” or “try harder,” she teaches them how to regulate their own biology. And in doing so, she opens the door for deeper connection, better decision-making, and more energy for the things that matter.
As more workplaces begin to embrace trauma-informed leadership, more individuals are seeking solutions that go beyond talk therapy and motivational content. Kase meets that need with clarity, compassion, and a toolkit rooted in both science and humanity.
A grounded approach to lasting change
What makes “The Polyvagal Solution” stand out is its realism. It doesn’t ask readers to overhaul their lives but instead asks them to listen — to pay attention to how their bodies feel, how their stress patterns manifest, and how even small shifts in awareness can lead to significant results over time. Whether you’re a therapist, a team leader, or someone trying to feel more at ease in your own skin, this book offers a way forward that feels both grounded and achievable.
Rebecca Kase isn’t just adding another title to the self-help genre. She’s redefining it by reminding us that we don’t have to muscle our way through life. We just have to learn how to work with, not against, ourselves.
And maybe that’s the real game-changer we’ve been waiting for.
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