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How to Identify the Top 25 People In Your Immediate Circle and Why This Matters

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In the digital age, making friends is easier than it has ever been with social media allowing for instant and ongoing connections with a virtually limitless number of people. On Facebook alone, today’s average user has more than 300 friends.

As with most things, however, quantity does not necessarily translate to quality.

“How many friends should you have?” asks Mark Lacek, author of the book “So, Who’s In Your Circle?” and creator of the My-Circle app. “It is something you need to consider if you want to build bonds with your friends that are stronger than ever and walk through this crazy and exciting life together. The digital age calls us to be a mile wide and an inch deep when it comes to friendships. But focus matters.”

Mark’s philosophy regarding friendship is that loyal friends are the only kinds of friends you want in your life. He also knows that having and enjoying loyal friendships takes some work. His book provides a roadmap for whittling down the ever-growing “friends list” we have built on social media to create a more manageable and satisfying personal social network.

“My goal in authoring my book is to help people intentionally, efficiently, and effectively determine how many of their friends can reasonably fit into their lives,” Mark says. “Our lives are so busy that it is a challenge to make time for friendships. We need a strategy for optimizing our time with friends and building deeper relationships with the ones who matter most.”

Optimizing your circle of friends

When it comes to friendships, many people have an inner circle. These are your “besties.” They are typically the two to five people who you cannot imagine doing life without.

Your inner circle is important, but it should not represent the totality of your friendships. Right outside of that inner circle should be a group of great friends who have won your trust, loyalty, and respect. Mark calls these people “My 25” and recommends an intentional approach to identifying who they are.

“If you are blessed with a broad array of friends, you know that they are true gold in life,” Mark says. “But we are not good at, nor have we typically given much thought to, organizing our friends. What can we do that will allow us to optimize our friendships over the course of our lives?”

Mark offers the following steps in his book for identifying those who would rank as our top 25 friends:

  • For those who work outside the home, begin by thinking about relationships with those whom you see most often. Close friends often are found in this group. However, spending a lot of time with someone does not automatically make them a close friend. You might log a lot of hours with a coworker during the day but never connect with that person outside of work. Those types of relationships probably would not qualify as one of your top 25 friendships.
  • Think of the friends you turn to when you have a problem and need help or advice. These are probably the people that you feel you can count on. You trust what they have to say and you respect them.
  • Think of the people who feel close to you even though they are far away geographically. If you have maintained a friendship with someone who lives several states away, that is a good indicator that they are a close friend.
  • Look at the lists of calls and texts on your phone or direct messages in your social media accounts. They provide a great gauge of the people who matter in our lives. That is not to say that your closest friends are those with whom you communicate most often; however, if you rarely place a call or send a text to someone, they probably will not rank among your top 25 friends.

Being intentional about friendships

The digital age has made it easier to have an abundance of friends, though it still hasn’t helped when it comes to authenticity in relationships. To find true happiness in our friendships, it is critical that we identify who our true friends are and focus our time and energy on them.

“There are so many studies that prove the value of having friends,” says Mark. “It isn’t only that they’re good for your health, which they are, and enrich your life, which they do, but also that they help you to become your best self and the person you were meant to be.”

Michelle has been a part of the journey ever since Bigtime Daily started. As a strong learner and passionate writer, she contributes her editing skills for the news agency. She also jots down intellectual pieces from categories such as science and health.

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Lifestyle

Behind the Scenes: A Conversation with Derik Fay – Sharing Stages with Legends and becoming one

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In the bustling world of motivational speaking, where voices rise and inspire, one individual stands out: Derik Fay.  Not just for his powerful messages, but for the remarkable journey that has placed him alongside some of the world’s most influential figures. 

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Derik Fay to delve into his experiences sharing stages with icons like Tony Robbins, Tim Grover, and a constellation of A list celebrity names.

“It’s been a surreal experience,” Fay began, a hint of awe still present in his voice. “To stand next to icons who have inspired millions, to witness their command of an audience, it’s a masterclass in itself. 

Fay’s journey, as he describes it, is a blend of hard work, delusional confidence, genuine passion, and a relentless pursuit of connection. 

“It’s not just about the name on the marquee,” he emphasized. “It’s about the shared energy, and the exchange of ideas. Whether it’s Kevin Hart’s comedic genius or Alex Rodriguez’s athletic drive, there’s something to learn from everyone I share the stage with.”

What struck me most during our conversation was Fay’s emphasis on authenticity. “I try to bring the same realness to the stage that I do in my online content,” he explained, referencing his popular Instagram reels and YouTube shorts. 

“People connect with genuine emotion, with relatable stories. It’s about building a bridge, not just delivering a lecture.”

Fays direct, conversational style, which I’ve observed in his online content, and in our interview clearly translates to his live performances. “I’ve learned that vulnerability is a strength,” he shared. “Whether I’m talking about the challenges of fatherhood or the importance of emotional intelligence, I want people to walk away feeling seen and understood.”

Beyond the star-studded appearances, Fay sees his speaking engagements as a platform for positive change. “It’s about sharing insights that can make a real difference,” he told me. 

“Whether it’s inspiring entrepreneurs to chase their dreams or helping individuals navigate difficult relationships, I want to leave a lasting impact.”

The lessons learned from sharing stages with these giants has undoubtedly shaped Fay’s approach. “I’ve absorbed so much from watching these masters at work,” he reflected. “It’s not just about the techniques, it’s about the passion, the commitment, the unwavering belief in the power of communication.”

As Derik Fay continues to grace stages around the globe, one thing is clear: his journey is a testament to the power of authentic connection and the enduring influence of shared experiences. And with each event, the legacy of these moments continues to grow, leaving an indelible mark on both the speaker and the audience.

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