Lifestyle
How to Get Full Custody of Your Child

If you’re going through a divorce and there are children involved, custody is almost certainly one of the most pressing issues of the proceeding. And if you want full custody, it’s important that you go into it with a plan.
Common Types of Custody Agreements
When it comes to custody, the final order will address both physical custody (which parent the child lives with) and legal custody (who has the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, including issues related to medical treatment, schooling, finances, etc.).
There’s no standard custody arrangement. Every family dynamic is unique and circumstances change from one divorce to the next. With that being said, most custody orders end up looking like one of the following:
- One parent gets sole legal custody and sole physical custody
- One parent gets sole physical custody and both parents share legal custody
- Both parents get physical custody and legal custody (joint custody)
- One parent gets sole legal custody with joint physical custody
Even within these types of custody agreements, there can be unique arrangements, caveats, rules, and restrictions. This is why it’s important for all parties to carefully review any proposed arrangement before signing anything.
3 Tips for Getting Full Custody
As you work through the different aspects of your divorce, here are several tips you can use to increase your chances of gaining full custody:
- Understand How Custody Decisions are Made
If you’re interested in getting full custody – which is a big responsibility – you’ll have to prove that (a) you’re capable of having full custody of your children and giving them the best chance to thrive, and (b) your spouse is incapable of providing basic care and will be a detriment to their upbringing.
In other words, it’s not just about you. You can be the best parent in the world, but if your spouse is a pretty good parent, too, you’ll never get full custody.
When making custody decisions, the judge takes a big picture view and considers factors like:
- The child’s age, sex, and health
- Each parent’s health (physical and mental)
- Each parent’s lifestyle and social factors
- Each parent’s ability to provide for basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, medical)
- Each parent’s established living pattern (school, home, etc.)
- The existing emotional bond between each parent and child
- The impact on the child’s status quo
- The child’s preference (if old enough to express an opinion)
“Assuming that none of these factors favors one parent over the other, most courts tend to focus on which parent is likely to provide the child with a stable environment and better foster the child’s relationship with the other parent,” Nolo.com explains.
In a situation where both parents are fairly even (in terms of the factors listed above), it’s highly unlikely that full custody will be awarded. Assuming your spouse also wants custody, joint custody is the most likely outcome.
- Hire an Attorney
Don’t try to handle your divorce on your own. If you’re serious about gaining full custody, you need an experienced attorney at the helm.
“There are many factors that a judge will consider in determining custody arrangements—and you probably haven’t thought of all of them,” attorney Rowdy G. Williams explains. “ An attorney who’s very experienced in child custody cases is essential to getting a custody agreement that’s favorable to you.”
Be open and transparent with your attorney about what your wishes are from the start. While they can’t do anything to change the facts or circumstances of your divorce, they can frame you in the best light to increase your chances of getting the custody agreement you desire.
- Prove the Other Parent is Unfit
While it’s not fair or ethical to speak falsely about your spouse, you have to prove that the other parent is unfit to have custody. In order to do this, you’ll have to drag up their dirty laundry and make sure the judge knows who they really are. This is where it’s important to give your lawyer everything they need to know. Don’t hold anything back.
Putting it All Together
Nothing matters more in a divorce than the health and well-being of your children. You and your spouse will eventually move on and make new lives for yourselves – possibly remarrying and enjoying more happiness than ever before. But your kids don’t get to move on so easily. A divorce impacts them for the rest of their lives. Make sure you’re prioritizing their well-being above all else.
Lifestyle
The Missing Piece in Self-Help? Why This Book is Changing the Wellness Game

Self-help shelves are full of advice — some of it helpful, some of it recycled, and most of it focused on “mindset.” But Rebecca Kase, LCSW and founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, is offering something different: a science-backed, body-first approach that explains why so many people feel struck, overwhelmed, or burned out — and what they can actually do about it.
A seasoned therapist and business leader, Kase has spent nearly two decades teaching others how to navigate life through the lens of the nervous system. Her newest book, “The Polyvagal Solution,” set to release in May 2025, aims to shake up the wellness space by shifting the focus away from willpower and onto biology. If success has felt out of reach — or if healing has always seemed like a vague concept — this book may be the missing link.
A new way to understand stress and healing
At the heart of Kase’s approach is polyvagal theory, a neuroscience-based framework that helps explain how our bodies respond to safety and threat. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, polyvagal theory has transformed the way many therapists understand trauma, but Kase is bringing this knowledge to a much wider audience.
“The body always tells the truth,” Kase says. “If you’re anxious, exhausted, or always in overdrive, your nervous system is asking for support, not more discipline.”
“The Polyvagal Solution” makes this complex theory digestible and actionable. Instead of promising quick fixes, Kase offers strategies for regulating the nervous system over time, including breathwork, movement, boundaries, and daily practices that better align with how the human body functions. It’s less about pushing through discomfort and more about learning to tune in to what the body needs.
From clinical expertise to business insight
What sets Kase apart isn’t just her deep understanding of trauma but how she blends that knowledge with real-world experience as a business owner and leader. As the founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, she scaled her work into a thriving company, all while staying rooted in the values she teaches.
Kase has coached therapists, executives, and entrepreneurs who struggle with burnout, anxiety, or feeling disconnected from their work. Regardless of who she works with, though, her message remains consistent: the problem isn’t always mindset — it’s often regulation.
“Success that drains you isn’t success. It’s survival mode in disguise,” Kase explains. Her coaching programs go beyond traditional leadership training by teaching high achievers how to calm their nervous systems, enabling them to lead from a grounded place, not just grit.
Making the science personal
For all her clinical knowledge, Kase keeps things human. Her work doesn’t sound like a lecture but rather like a conversation with someone who gets it. That’s because she’s been through it herself: the long hours as a therapist, the emotional toll of supporting others, the realities of building a business while managing her own well-being.
That lived experience informs everything she does. Whether she’s speaking on stage, running a retreat, or sharing an anecdote on her podcast, Kase has a way of weaving humor and honesty into even the heaviest topics. Her ability to balance evidence-based practice with practical advice is part of what makes her voice so compelling.
Kase’s previous book, “Polyvagal-Informed EMDR,” earned respect from clinicians across the country. But “The Polyvagal Solution” reaches beyond the therapy community to anyone ready to understand how their body is shaping their behavior and how to create real, sustainable change.
Why this message matters
We’re in a moment where burnout is common and overwhelm feels normal. People are looking for answers, but many of the tools out there don’t address the deeper cause of those feelings.
That’s where Kase’s work lands differently. Instead of telling people to “think positive” or “try harder,” she teaches them how to regulate their own biology. And in doing so, she opens the door for deeper connection, better decision-making, and more energy for the things that matter.
As more workplaces begin to embrace trauma-informed leadership, more individuals are seeking solutions that go beyond talk therapy and motivational content. Kase meets that need with clarity, compassion, and a toolkit rooted in both science and humanity.
A grounded approach to lasting change
What makes “The Polyvagal Solution” stand out is its realism. It doesn’t ask readers to overhaul their lives but instead asks them to listen — to pay attention to how their bodies feel, how their stress patterns manifest, and how even small shifts in awareness can lead to significant results over time. Whether you’re a therapist, a team leader, or someone trying to feel more at ease in your own skin, this book offers a way forward that feels both grounded and achievable.
Rebecca Kase isn’t just adding another title to the self-help genre. She’s redefining it by reminding us that we don’t have to muscle our way through life. We just have to learn how to work with, not against, ourselves.
And maybe that’s the real game-changer we’ve been waiting for.
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