Lifestyle

Do Mothers Get Child Custody More Often Than Fathers?

Published

3 years ago

December 9, 2022

Many people assume that mothers have the upper hand over fathers in custody battles, but this is not always the case.

In this article, we’ll go over why many assume that the mother always gets custody, how things are different today, and what judges really consider when granting custody rights.

Let’s get started!

Why many assume mothers get custody

In the past, mothers were almost always the primary caregivers of their children. So it made sense to give them custody (instead of giving it to fathers).

Plus, for many decades family law followed the “tender years” doctrine, which dates back to the late 19th century and states that children need their mother during their early, developmental years. Most fathers didn’t contest.

But today, there are no laws that codify a gender preference in who should gain custody over a child. And while it’s true that historically mothers were nearly always guaranteed to win custody battles, this is increasingly no longer the case.

How things are different today

Modern gender roles have evolved. Today, there are more women in the US college-educated labor force than men, and young women are out-earning young men in several US states.

Now that more women enter (and excel in) the workforce, the idea that they are always the primary caretaker no longer holds.

Some couples share equal responsibility in taking care of the kids and providing. In some households, women are even the main breadwinner. Since 1967, the share of breadwinning or co-breadwinning mothers has more than doubled.

What this means for custody battles is that fathers are often just as good, if not better, at taking care of their children. As a result, many men are being awarded full or equal split custody.

That said, the mother is often still favored in custody battles that involve very young children. For example, if a baby relies on the mother for breastfeeding, she will more than likely gain custody. However, if the infant is bottle-fed, a father may have just as good a chance at winning custody since they can do the job just as well.

It all depends on what the best interests of the child are.

What the judge considers when granting custody

To determine how to split custody rights, a judge will take many factors into consideration. Here are just a few:

Which parent is most able to provide a safe and stable environment for the child?
Which parent can provide for the child financially and physically in terms of essentials, like food, shelter, medical care, clothes, and so on?
What is the state of each parent’s mental health, criminal record, and personal habits?
Where does the child want to live?
How old is the child and do they have special physical or mental needs?
Will the child have to move and adjust to a new city, school, friends, and quality of life?
Did either parent bring false or malicious charges of child abuse against the other? Is either motivated to gain custody only to lash out at the other parent?
What is the child’s relationship like to each parent? Has either parent ever abandoned the child?

The list goes on, but you get the idea. When parents fight over custody rights, the judge weighs all the factors above to determine where the child would do best.

The final verdict

At the end of the day, child custody decisions are made on a case-by-case basis. Most result in partial custody to both parents, but not always.

On average, mothers are still granted around 65% of custody time, while fathers are given around 35%.

Whether you are a father or a mother trying to win custody rights, try to maintain a civil and respectful relationship with the other parent at all times. Being vengeful will only hurt your case. Be sure to maintain a positive relationship with your child as well.

Lastly, it pays to consult an experienced family law attorney who can help you know your rights and give you the best chance of winning custody over your child.

Lifestyle

When Seasons Shift: Dr. Leeshe Grimes on Grief, Loneliness, and Finding Light Again

Published

1 day ago

February 22, 2026

Michelle Langton

Some emotional storms arrive without warning. A sudden change in weather, a holiday approaching, or even a bright sunny day can stir feelings that don’t match the world outside. For many people, the hardest seasons are not defined by temperature; they are defined by what’s happening inside, where grief and loneliness often move quietly.

This is the emotional terrain where Dr. Leeshe Grimes has spent her career doing some of her most meaningful work. As a psychotherapist, registered play therapist, retired U.S. Army combat veteran, and founder of Elevated Minds in the DMV area, she understands how deeply seasonal shifts and unresolved grief can affect people. Her upcoming books explore this very space, guiding readers through the emotional weight that can appear during different times of the year.

What sets Dr. Grimes apart is her ability to see clearly what many people overlook. Seasonal depression, for example, is usually tied to winter months. But she often sees it appear during warm, bright seasons, the times when the world seems happiest. For someone already grieving or feeling disconnected, watching others travel, celebrate, or gather can create its own kind of heaviness. Sunshine doesn’t always lift the mood; sometimes it highlights what feels missing.

The same misunderstanding surrounds grief. Society often treats it as a short-term experience with predictable phases and a clean ending. But in her practice, Dr. Grimes sees how grief keeps evolving. It doesn’t disappear on a timeline. It weaves itself into routines, memories, and milestones. People learn to carry it differently, but they rarely leave it behind completely. And that’s not failure, it’s human.

Her approach to mental health centers on truth rather than pressure. She encourages clients to acknowledge the emotions they try to hide: sadness that lingers longer than expected, moments of joy that feel out of place, and the waves of loneliness that return even when life seems stable. Instead of pushing for quick recovery, she focuses on helping people understand how emotions shift and how to care for themselves through those changes.

Much of her insight comes from her military years, where she witnessed the emotional toll of loss, transition, and constant survival. She saw how people continued functioning while carrying pain that had nowhere to go. That experience shaped her belief that healing requires space, space to feel, to speak, and to move through emotions without judgment.

In her clinical work today at Elevated Minds, she encourages people to build small, steady habits that anchor them during difficult seasons. Journaling helps them recognize patterns and name what feels heavy. Community support breaks the cycle of isolation. Therapy creates a place where emotions don’t have to be minimized or explained away. And intentional routines, daily sunlight, mindful breaks, and calm evenings help rebuild emotional balance.

Her upcoming books expand on these ideas, offering practical guidance for navigating both grief and seasonal depression. She focuses on helping readers understand that healing is not about escaping pain. It’s about learning how to live with it in a healthier way, honoring memories, acknowledging loneliness, and still allowing room for moments of light.

What makes Dr. Leeshe Grimes a compelling voice in mental health is her ability to bring language to experiences that many struggle to explain. She reminds people that emotional seasons don’t always match the weather and that there is no single path through grief. But within those shifts, she believes there is always a way forward.

The seasons will continue to change. And with the right tools, compassion, and support, people can change with them, finding steadiness, softness, and light again, one step at a time.