Lifestyle
Do Mothers Get Child Custody More Often Than Fathers?

Many people assume that mothers have the upper hand over fathers in custody battles, but this is not always the case.
In this article, we’ll go over why many assume that the mother always gets custody, how things are different today, and what judges really consider when granting custody rights.
Let’s get started!
Why many assume mothers get custody
In the past, mothers were almost always the primary caregivers of their children. So it made sense to give them custody (instead of giving it to fathers).
Plus, for many decades family law followed the “tender years” doctrine, which dates back to the late 19th century and states that children need their mother during their early, developmental years. Most fathers didn’t contest.
But today, there are no laws that codify a gender preference in who should gain custody over a child. And while it’s true that historically mothers were nearly always guaranteed to win custody battles, this is increasingly no longer the case.
How things are different today
Modern gender roles have evolved. Today, there are more women in the US college-educated labor force than men, and young women are out-earning young men in several US states.
Now that more women enter (and excel in) the workforce, the idea that they are always the primary caretaker no longer holds.
Some couples share equal responsibility in taking care of the kids and providing. In some households, women are even the main breadwinner. Since 1967, the share of breadwinning or co-breadwinning mothers has more than doubled.
What this means for custody battles is that fathers are often just as good, if not better, at taking care of their children. As a result, many men are being awarded full or equal split custody.
That said, the mother is often still favored in custody battles that involve very young children. For example, if a baby relies on the mother for breastfeeding, she will more than likely gain custody. However, if the infant is bottle-fed, a father may have just as good a chance at winning custody since they can do the job just as well.
It all depends on what the best interests of the child are.
What the judge considers when granting custody
To determine how to split custody rights, a judge will take many factors into consideration. Here are just a few:
- Which parent is most able to provide a safe and stable environment for the child?
- Which parent can provide for the child financially and physically in terms of essentials, like food, shelter, medical care, clothes, and so on?
- What is the state of each parent’s mental health, criminal record, and personal habits?
- Where does the child want to live?
- How old is the child and do they have special physical or mental needs?
- Will the child have to move and adjust to a new city, school, friends, and quality of life?
- Did either parent bring false or malicious charges of child abuse against the other? Is either motivated to gain custody only to lash out at the other parent?
- What is the child’s relationship like to each parent? Has either parent ever abandoned the child?
The list goes on, but you get the idea. When parents fight over custody rights, the judge weighs all the factors above to determine where the child would do best.
The final verdict
At the end of the day, child custody decisions are made on a case-by-case basis. Most result in partial custody to both parents, but not always.
On average, mothers are still granted around 65% of custody time, while fathers are given around 35%.
Whether you are a father or a mother trying to win custody rights, try to maintain a civil and respectful relationship with the other parent at all times. Being vengeful will only hurt your case. Be sure to maintain a positive relationship with your child as well.
Lastly, it pays to consult an experienced family law attorney who can help you know your rights and give you the best chance of winning custody over your child.
Lifestyle
The Missing Piece in Self-Help? Why This Book is Changing the Wellness Game

Self-help shelves are full of advice — some of it helpful, some of it recycled, and most of it focused on “mindset.” But Rebecca Kase, LCSW and founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, is offering something different: a science-backed, body-first approach that explains why so many people feel struck, overwhelmed, or burned out — and what they can actually do about it.
A seasoned therapist and business leader, Kase has spent nearly two decades teaching others how to navigate life through the lens of the nervous system. Her newest book, “The Polyvagal Solution,” set to release in May 2025, aims to shake up the wellness space by shifting the focus away from willpower and onto biology. If success has felt out of reach — or if healing has always seemed like a vague concept — this book may be the missing link.
A new way to understand stress and healing
At the heart of Kase’s approach is polyvagal theory, a neuroscience-based framework that helps explain how our bodies respond to safety and threat. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, polyvagal theory has transformed the way many therapists understand trauma, but Kase is bringing this knowledge to a much wider audience.
“The body always tells the truth,” Kase says. “If you’re anxious, exhausted, or always in overdrive, your nervous system is asking for support, not more discipline.”
“The Polyvagal Solution” makes this complex theory digestible and actionable. Instead of promising quick fixes, Kase offers strategies for regulating the nervous system over time, including breathwork, movement, boundaries, and daily practices that better align with how the human body functions. It’s less about pushing through discomfort and more about learning to tune in to what the body needs.
From clinical expertise to business insight
What sets Kase apart isn’t just her deep understanding of trauma but how she blends that knowledge with real-world experience as a business owner and leader. As the founder of the Trauma Therapist Institute, she scaled her work into a thriving company, all while staying rooted in the values she teaches.
Kase has coached therapists, executives, and entrepreneurs who struggle with burnout, anxiety, or feeling disconnected from their work. Regardless of who she works with, though, her message remains consistent: the problem isn’t always mindset — it’s often regulation.
“Success that drains you isn’t success. It’s survival mode in disguise,” Kase explains. Her coaching programs go beyond traditional leadership training by teaching high achievers how to calm their nervous systems, enabling them to lead from a grounded place, not just grit.
Making the science personal
For all her clinical knowledge, Kase keeps things human. Her work doesn’t sound like a lecture but rather like a conversation with someone who gets it. That’s because she’s been through it herself: the long hours as a therapist, the emotional toll of supporting others, the realities of building a business while managing her own well-being.
That lived experience informs everything she does. Whether she’s speaking on stage, running a retreat, or sharing an anecdote on her podcast, Kase has a way of weaving humor and honesty into even the heaviest topics. Her ability to balance evidence-based practice with practical advice is part of what makes her voice so compelling.
Kase’s previous book, “Polyvagal-Informed EMDR,” earned respect from clinicians across the country. But “The Polyvagal Solution” reaches beyond the therapy community to anyone ready to understand how their body is shaping their behavior and how to create real, sustainable change.
Why this message matters
We’re in a moment where burnout is common and overwhelm feels normal. People are looking for answers, but many of the tools out there don’t address the deeper cause of those feelings.
That’s where Kase’s work lands differently. Instead of telling people to “think positive” or “try harder,” she teaches them how to regulate their own biology. And in doing so, she opens the door for deeper connection, better decision-making, and more energy for the things that matter.
As more workplaces begin to embrace trauma-informed leadership, more individuals are seeking solutions that go beyond talk therapy and motivational content. Kase meets that need with clarity, compassion, and a toolkit rooted in both science and humanity.
A grounded approach to lasting change
What makes “The Polyvagal Solution” stand out is its realism. It doesn’t ask readers to overhaul their lives but instead asks them to listen — to pay attention to how their bodies feel, how their stress patterns manifest, and how even small shifts in awareness can lead to significant results over time. Whether you’re a therapist, a team leader, or someone trying to feel more at ease in your own skin, this book offers a way forward that feels both grounded and achievable.
Rebecca Kase isn’t just adding another title to the self-help genre. She’s redefining it by reminding us that we don’t have to muscle our way through life. We just have to learn how to work with, not against, ourselves.
And maybe that’s the real game-changer we’ve been waiting for.
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