Lifestyle
Brooke Benevento: 3 Tips for Finding Yourself After Raising Kids
Becoming a mother is a life-altering gift. However, it’s easy to lose oneself when caring for an infant, and no amount of babysitting or reading blogs can equip us with motherhood’s unique challenges.
“In order for your parent mindset shift to occur, you have to trust that there is a place for your parent mind to shift to” states Brooke Benevento, Founder/CEO of Passion Into Purpose Coaching and LandHome Design.
“The fact that you will have to sacrifice a piece of you as a mother will always be a part of your motherhood journey. However, you can create a healthy happy balance for you and your child. . You are your child’s role model, influencer, and guide until the day you die . . With conscious parenting you can stay true to who you are and in turn give your child a head start in life.”
Over the years, parenthood has taught us that to be the mother your children need, you must first take all reasonable steps to ensure your own well-being. Here are a few beginner tips Brooke Benevento shares about some mindset shifts that you can practice before/after bringing your bundle of joy home.
Accept the changes you are undergoing
Recognize the physical changes that are starting to happen to your body while you are pregnant. You are engaging in one of the most beautiful miracles of nature, enjoy it. “Accepting the changes that are taking place will enable you to enjoy your pregnancy and create a loving space for you and your unborn child. ,” states Brooke.
Set Simple Goals for when you bring the baby home
Focus on being patient with yourself and your baby’s needs. Take things slow and leave space for you and your baby to bond without the pressures of life. It’s ok to ask close friends or family for help. If you need help with meals, dishes, laundry, or house cleaning make sure to reach out before the baby arrives to see who is available to help for the first few weeks so you can have some stress-free bonding with your baby. Remember, this is your time as a new mom and you get to decide how others get to help you. Help doesn’t always look like them holding the baby and you do the chores. Help is whatever you decide it to be.
Make time for yourself
Self-care is also crucial during this time. When mom is happy, so is her baby. If possible, get your baby settled with another caregiver and take some time to take a hot bath or shower and relax. Maybe, even take a little nap to recharge if needed. Going for a quick walk if you are up for it is also a great way to reconnect with yourself. Nature has an amazing way of grounding our souls and helping us recharge. The key is to find what works for you and make it a habit and incorporate it into your life on a regular basis.
The bottom line: you don’t have to lose yourself in motherhood
Being a mother has many benefits, including fostering enduring ties with your family and assisting them in learning and growth. However, if you are continually depressed and unhappy, it may be challenging to realize these advantages. And what do we desire most for our children? The answer is to watch them prosper and achieve their most ardent aspirations. ” You need to assume the same of yourself,” states Brooke Benevento. “You must always pursue your aspirations if you want your children to do the same for themselves. You are their guiding light and you must show them just as much as you advise them,” she adds.
Furthermore, there is no perfect parent and there are no perfect children. With preparation and some positive goals for yourself as a parent, you will become the best parent you were meant to be.
Lifestyle
How to Get the Tools You Need to Live a Happy Healthy Life
Living a happy healthy life isn’t as easy as many will have you believe. Social media is often filled with quick fixes, expensive supplements, and highlight reels to convince you that all it takes is [enter product or service for sale here]. The reality is that you need tools for that life — like a nutritious diet, sufficient sleep, stress management, and positive social connections. And many people don’t have the slightest idea how to get those tools. Here are the critical steps:
Know What You Need
First, because both happiness and health are specific to the individual, the most important ability you need is self-awareness. If you can’t see yourself clearly, it will be almost impossible to improve yourself. So, take a good hard look at yourself and factor in your strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself what you’re capable of and what you need to get there.
For example, some people may be in good physical shape and simply need to hire a personal trainer to help take their fitness to the next level. Others need a full panel of tests at a local clinic to figure out what health issues they may need to address. In cases of abuse or addiction, you might need weekly therapy, or you may benefit from inpatient treatment for substance abuse. You’ll have to evaluate your specific situation and go from there.
Ask for Help
If life is really bad and has been for some time, and you feel like you just can’t pull yourself out of a downward spiral, you most likely need to ask someone for help. Even in the case of an average life change, it could help to have an outside opinion in the form of a therapist, a friend, or a family member you trust. Many people struggle to ask for help, so this step may be especially challenging for you.
Remind yourself that truly everyone needs help at some time in their lives, whether they realize it or not. It’s also helpful to remember that many people enjoy helping others and even sign up as volunteers or go into service jobs for that reason. If you have trouble asking someone you know for help, look into local resources like counseling or social services, which can be inexpensive or even free. Those spaces will be able to help you get the additional tools you need.
Make Sure You Have a Safe Space to Live
Speaking of spaces, it’s hard to access the tools you need for a happy healthy life if you don’t have a safe space to live. Where are you supposed to sleep? Where can you store your nutritious food? These are real concerns for a lot of people, and if you’re one of them, you need to take it seriously. Look around you. Are you living in a safe environment that invites you to thrive and become your best self? If the answer is no, it’s time for a change.
Obviously, it’s not typically easy to just pick up and leave your current residence, but, again, if you answered “no” to the question above, you’ll need to take the leap. If you can afford it, get your own place, so you have more of a sense of control over your own life and choices. If not, reach out to your resources, like social services, and find out about safe, affordable housing. Also, if you have a friend or family member you trust, you may be able to stay with them.
Find Rewarding Work
Another crucial step toward accessing the essential tools for a good life is finding work you enjoy. It’s not enough to make money; plenty of people are miserable at high-paying jobs. Your goal should be to find the intersection between what you’re good at (what skills you have) and what you love. Then, work with your resources to figure out what kind of work you can do that will pay you a living wage or more.
When you find rewarding work, you can look forward to showing up to do your job every day. Most people spend more time at work each week than they do doing anything else, except maybe sleeping. It’s important you feel good about your work. Then, you won’t end up numbing your misery with drugs, alcohol, food, or too much screen time. Instead, you’ll be more encouraged to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise, so you can keep showing up.
Engage in Community
Finally, in addition to those resources you find and utilize, you’ll also want to find and engage in community. This may begin with a program like Alcoholics Anonymous or a support group for grief or eating habits, but it can evolve into book clubs, walking groups, and more. Try to give as much as you get in these community spaces, whether it’s at your local farmer’s market or at a soup kitchen.
The more socially engaged you are, the better you feel, and the more likely you are to keep up your self-care. Community provides this feeling of giving back like few other avenues do because you are in an almost constant state of giving and receiving. When you want to be part of something, you can join a group or festival and socialize. At the same time, when you feel up to contributing, you can lend a hand and make a difference. Many times, you can do both at the same time.
The tools you need for a happy healthy life are basic. You require good food, sleep, exercise, and people. But as basic as they are, many people need a lot of help to get to where they can access those tools. The most important part of this entire process, toward getting happy and healthy, is acknowledging that you are worthy of those tools and that life. From there, you can start doing the work to get them.
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